


When Theon Met Robb

by whoistorule



Category: A Song of Ice and Fire - George R. R. Martin, Game of Thrones (TV), When Harry Met Sally (1989)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-12-28
Updated: 2012-12-28
Packaged: 2017-11-22 17:42:24
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,412
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/612485
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/whoistorule/pseuds/whoistorule
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Theon/Robb <i>When Harry Met Sally</i> AU for <a href="http://robbstark.tumblr.com">Ray</a></p><p>Ships are from the <a href="http://bloodandglory-rp.tumblr.com">Blood & Glory RP</a></p>
            </blockquote>





	When Theon Met Robb

**Author's Note:**

  * For [dalyeau](https://archiveofourown.org/users/dalyeau/gifts).



Theon ground his fingers into the meat of his boyfriend’s pert arse, perfectly aware of the eyes of the auburn-haired boy to his left, wide and judging.  When he broke the kiss with a widening grin, he nodded suggestively at the waiting boy, and opened the door to the car.

“Robb Stark,” the boy said, judgment palpable on the back of his tongue.

“Theon Greyjoy,” Theon said, his ever-present smile more of a smirk.  With a wave at Wex, he slid into the driver’s seat, eyeing Stark’s fine arse as he followed suit.  Given a choice, Theon would have preferred to fly down to London from St. Andrews, but driving was cheaper, and Robb, a friend of Wex’s, had agreed to split gas costs and driving time.

The car pulled out of St. Andrews, scraping across the gravel, and Theon glanced over at the boy to his left, his eyes lingering at the unmistakable bulge in his trousers.  Robb, noticing the trajectory of his gaze made a tsch-ing noise and crossed his legs.  Theon smirked.  This ride was going to be fun.

\--

"So Wex tells me you're into men," Theon said conversationally. The night had grown dark and Robb was driving now, his hands firm on the wheel, his long feelings tantalizing, curled around the stick shift.  If he closes his eyes, Theon can imagine them closing around his cock.

"Not exclusively," Robb said, eyes fixed on the road.

Theon moved his hand over Robb's on the stick. "I could be into you, exclusively," Theon's lips curled suggestively, "at least for the night."

Robb's mouth made a shocked O. "You're with Wex!"

"Wex is in Scotland.  I'm moving to London."

"It wouldn't be right."

Theon sighed, it seemed Robb was the moral type.

"I thought we could be friends," he was saying, freeing himself of Theon's grip as he pulled in to a car park so they could get a bite to eat.  "You're the only person I know in London."

"Right.  Friends.  Sure."  The silence grew tense between them, prickling against Theon's arms, making him shiver as he opened his car door. 

The hostess seated them with a raised eyebrow and Theon eyed Robb's lips before licking his own.

"I'll have the turkey sandwich," Robb began to order, "only I want it with cucumber instead of tomato, unless the cucumber is pre-peeled in which case I'll have the tomato but on the side.  If the mustard is grainy I'll have it on one side of the bread only, otherwise no mustard."

Theon raised his eyebrows, bemused.  "I'll have fish and chips."

Tersely the two men stared at each other.  Theon drummed his fingers idly against the tabletop.  "Only thing is," he said with a smirk, "we can't ever be friends.  Two men who are both attracted to each other can never be friends, the sex part will always get in the way."

"Do you really think that?"

"Absolutely."

"Well I guess we aren't going to be friends then."

"Guess not."

"Pity, I thought I might like you."

"Yeah, I thought I might like you, too."

\- 5 Years Later -

Theon relieved himself of his luggage when something caught his eye.  Stopping beside a kissing couple, a man with auburn hair and a pretty brunette with a strong nose and a light dusting of freckles, he waited until they pulled apart before beaming at the girl.  "Jeyne!  Jeyne Westerling, I thought it might be you.  How are you?"

"Oh fine fine, you know, business is going well."

"Same here.  I'm just flying to New York for the week but uh here," Theon fished around in his breast pocket for a business card, "give me a call next week, I've got an opportunity you might be interested in.  It was good running into you."

"Yeah same here." 

Ignoring the man, Theon strode to the security line, ignoring the niggling feeling that he knew him from somewhere.  However, once seated on the plane, the other man sat right in front of him and Theon couldn't ignore him any longer.

"Hey, do I know you from somewhere?" He asked, leaning forward over the edge of the man's seat, his hands brushing against the other man's no doubt custom suit.

"Unfortunately."

Theon smiled wickedly, "did we ever, uh, you know...." He trailed off, making a lewd hand gesture.

"No! We drove to London together," the other man said shortly, "about five years ago."

"Right!  Rick, right?"

"Robb."

"Right, Robb! Of course."

"Hey, do you want to switch seats?" The man next to Robb offered, and Theon took him up on it gladly, sprawling out immediately.

"So how long have you and Jeyne been together?"

"A year."

"That's great.  I'm married now.  Great girl, name's Ros."

Robb looked at him for a second, quizzical, then his face softened into a smile.  "I'm glad to hear that."

\--

The plane ride passed quickly.  Robb was good conversation with an easy smile, and Theon found himself having a great time.  Exiting the plane, he kept time with Robb easily on the moving sidewalk.

"You know," Robb was saying, "you seem to have matured.  I'm glad."

"What's that?"

"Oh, nothing, I just remember you saying the rudest thing to me after I turned you down five years ago."

"What's that?"

"You said two men who are attracted to each other can't ever be just friends. But you don't really believe that, do you?"

"No!" Theon thought for a second, then smiled sheepishly. "Well, yes.  But I'll add the caveat that they can be friends if they're both in stable relationships.  Well.  Unless of course one of them breaks up then they'll just be waiting for the other one to end, and then you're just back where you started."

"So what you're saying is that even though I'm happily dating Jeyne and you're married to Ros, we can't be friends."

"I guess not."

"Goodbye, Theon."

"Goodbye, Robb."

-5 Years Later.-

Theon spotted Robb halfway across the bookstore and a smile came unbidden to his face.  He was with a handsome man of medium build and brown hair, but no sooner had Theon rounded the corner to say hello did the other man disappear.  "Robb Stark!" he said cheerfully, offering out his hand.  "It's good to run into you."

"Theon Greyjoy," Robb's smile was tightlipped and tense, "This is..." He glanced around for his companion, "that was, rather, Jon Umber, but I'm not sure where he disappeared to."

Releasing his hand from Robb's grip, Theon scratched his head. "How's um, Jeyne?"

"We broke up."

"Oh.  I'm sorry to hear that.  She was a great girl."

"Yeah...  How's-"

Theon held up his ringless finger, "Divorced.  Apparently when she said 'forever,' she meant until I met Petyr."

Robb's smile grew genuine, "I'm sorry to hear that as well.  How are you doing?"

"Not too well," Theon laughed, "I'm a bit of a wreck to be honest. Consider my trust in humanity a bit shaken.  But no man likes to be left behind, I guess.  And you?  How are you doing?"

"Really well.  You know, me and Jeyne, we just wanted different things I guess.  I want to get married and have kids some day, and she doesn't.  It's okay though you know?  I'm really fine.  It was a very mature break up."

Theon smiled ruefully as Robb ruffled his fingers through his hair. "Robb, do you want to get a cup of coffee some time?  Just as friends I mean, I'm a bit fragile for anything else."

"I thought you said two men who were attracted to one another could never be friends?"

"Did I?  I'm sorry, I was younger and stupid.  Heartbreak's made me a new man.  Let me buy you a cup of coffee to prove it."

"All right."

\--

Theon had his laptop screen open to Netflix, halfway through an episode of Breaking Bad, when the phone rang.

"What are you up to?"

"Nothing much, just watching Breaking Bad on Netflix."

"Oh, give me an episode and a time stamp, I'll watch with you."

Theon smiled, pausing the movie, and readjusted his phone against his ear as Robb set up his computer screen on the other end, cursing softly as it buffered.

"Is there anyone more fuckable than Aaron Paul?" Theon said with a grin as Jesse and Walt cooked meth in a trailer.  Theon thought he could hear Robb smile through the phone.

"You know, Jeyne and I used to say it was good we lived alone and didn't have kids," Robb said quietly through the sounds of Breaking Bad'a gunfire.  "We could do whatever we wanted, she'd say, we could make love in the kitchen if we wanted."

"But?"

"But we never really did.  And the longer we stayed together, it seemed the less we were making love at all."

"Not me and Ros," Theon said, grinning as the scene got bloody.  He could hear Robb making wincing noises on the other line.  "We were fucking daily, right up until the very end, when she walked in to the kitchen and said 'I'm leaving you.'  Honestly, the amount we fucked, I'm shocked we weren't fucking when she told me."

"That's gross."

"Hey, I'm just saying.  I've got a healthy sexual appetite."

Robb laughed on the other end of the line, and Theon felt his stomach flip appreciatively.  It was always a nice feeling, making Robb laugh.

\--

"I'll have the chicken breast filet wrap with peri-peri sauce but not too much peri-peri sauce and if the corn is pre-buttered I'll have the corn on the side, otherwise I want the cole slaw.  And I'll have a coke, but not too much ice, I hate it when my drinks have too much ice."  Theon couldn't keep the smirk off his face as Robb ordered his sandwich at Nando's.  Takingi their table number and receipts, he followed Robb to a table in the center of the restaurant, which was packed full of the Sunday lunch rush.

"I'm just saying," Robb said as he sat, "I'm not ready for the whole ordeal yet, you know?  You take someone out, buy them a nice dinner, but you know it's not going to go anywhere, so what's the point?  Half the time the conversation is awkward and then you have to decide if you do the kiss at the door or the peck on the cheek or nothing at all."

Theon nodded vigorously, taking a messy bite of his sandwich. "Mmhmfmfmm," he said, then swallowed.  "I agree.  Only without that last part.  Kiss at the door?" He grinned lasciviously, "try kiss at the bed.  The annoying bit for me comes after, when you gotta lie there and wonder if the other person wants to cuddle."

Robb looked scandalized.  "You mean you've slept with people since Ros?"

"You mean you haven't?"

"Of course not!"

"I'm a man," Theon said by way of explanation, "I have needs."

"You're a dog."

"Hey, I haven't heard any complaints.  I make sure anyone I go home with has a good time."

"How do you know, do they tell you?"

"What do you mean how do I know?  I know, all right!"

It was Robb's turn to smile now.  "How do you know they're not... You know, faking?"

Theon scoffed.  "Men can't fake orgasms, it's just not physically possible."

"Oh?" Robb put down his sandwich and parted his fuckable mouth.  "Oh," he said, the noise rumbling from the back of his throat. "Ohhhh," he wet his lips with a flick of his tongue. "Ohhhhh right there, that's it, that's the spot.  You're so _good_."  Theon could feel a rare blush coming to his cheeks as Robb closed his eyes and tilted his head back, continuing, oblivious (or perhaps reveling in) the stares is apparent ecstasy was bringing.  "Yes, that's it, fuck me, harder, faster, there, oh, god yes, oh oh ohhhhhhhh!" He let out a groan and threw back his head.  Then, as if nothing had happened at all, he grinned at Theon cheerfully and took a bite of his sandwich.

\--

Theon leaned against the railing looking out on the Thames with a sigh and turned back to glance at the tall brunette with the endless legs beside him.

"He faked an orgasm in front of the Nando's Sunday rush?" She made a clucking noise with her tongue, "well color me impressed."

"You don't get it Alys, I know I'm good in bed!  I am a _great_ fuck, okay?"

Alys laughed and leaned against the railing. "I'll have to take your word for that."

"I made a guy meow once.  You can't fake that!"

"You.  Made a guy meow?"

"Yes, an actual meow!"

Alys shrugged nonchalantly, "don't ask me about the mysteries of the prostrate orgasm Theon, I've no fucking clue, but he sounds like a riot."

"Yeah," Theon smiled wistfully, "Yeah, he's pretty great."

\--

Theon leaned back against the bar, a glass of champagne in hand, utterly bored.  His date, some blonde socialite, had disappeared an hour ago and he was in no hurry to find her, not with another quarter hour to go until midnight

A grin spread across his face as he saw Robb walking towards him, dateless as well.

"Where's yours?" Theon asked, drumming his fingers against his half full champagne flute.

"Powder room.  Yours?"

"Saw a friend from boarding school an hour ago and she's yet to return, not that I'm complaining, mind you, I hate these things."

"What?" Robb asked with a laugh, "parties?"

"No, New Years Eve!  The whole ordeal is so pointless.  You have to put on a tux and find a date just so you can have someone to kiss at midnight, even if you don't want to kiss anyone at all, and so half the time you end up with someone you hate just to have a hand to HS as they count down."

"Yeah," Robb smiled sheepishly, "I guess you're right.  Mine's a friend of my sister's, I think she's only out with me as a favor to Sansa.  Jeyne Poole."

"Unlucky first name there, mate."

"You're telling me.  Who's yours?"

"Kyra.  Friend of a friend."

Robb sighed and leaned against the bar beside Theon.  “So why did your date ditch, really?"

“Apparently I talk too much.  She slipped that into the conversation early.”

Robb laughed.  “Mine thinks I’m too fussy, apparently, just because I wanted to make sure the route the cab driver took through London was the _right_ one.”

“Well you _are_ very high maintenance.”

Robb raised his eyebrows.  “Excuse me?”

“You know.  High maintenance.  Only problem is, you think you’re low maintenance.”

“And what exactly does that mean?”

“You know exactly what it means.  It means, I want the sandwich, but with the sauce on the side, only not the sauce that comes with it, no I want a different sauce, and I don’t want this vegetable I want another one, but only if it’s fresh, and oh by the way, put it on the side.  You really like having things on the side.”

With a shrug of his shoulders, Robb smiled at Theon.  “I like thinks the way I like them.”

“That’s what I said.  High maintenance.” 

Around them, the room began to count down with neither of their dates in sight.  Shrugging, Theon downed the rest of his champagne as the crowd yelled "Happy New Year!" and kissed Robb lightly on the lips.  "Happy new year, Robb."

"Happy new year, Theon."

\--

"A double date, Theon, really?" Alys groaned audibly on the other end of the phone.  "Do I not get a say?"

"C'mon Alys, Robb's bringing his friend Jon who he says is perfect for me, I'm bringing you, Robb's a great guy, you both work in business, I'm sure you'll hit it off."

Alys sighed, "Fine, Theon, if you insist."

Theon grinned.  He wasn't exactly sure about the double date either, but it would be nice to meet whoever Robb was setting him up with.  Robb had good taste, relatively at least, it was at least bound to be interesting.

"Thanks, Alys."

"Yeah, yeah, but you owe me." 

\--

"So then, I said father, I'm not interested in the iron business any more, and I moved to London to become a model."

Alys was leaning diagonally across the table, her eyes rapt, fixed on Jon Umber, nodding her head along with his story, and laughed. 

"Nah I'm only joking, the model thing was a complete accident."

"Well I saw you in that cologne as in GQ, loved the expression in your eyes," she was saying twirling a piece of hair around her finger, and Theon bit back a groan.  Could Alys _be_ any more obvious?  It had been like this all dinner, from the moment they sat down and Alys recognized Jon from some catalogue or another.  Not that Theon was particularly interested in the man, he was vapid and very into himself, but the way the conversation was going, Theon couldn't even talk to Robb.  Rolling his eyes, he pulled out his cell phone under the table and fired off a text to Robb.

 **Msg** : Well they sure seem to like each other

A few seconds later, his own phone buzzed back.

 **Msg** : I didn't know you could be the third wheel on your own double date

Theon grinned and glanced up.  Alys and Jon didn't seem to notice, so he went back to his phone and began to type

 **Msg** : wonder what made them so uninterested  
 **Msg** : Well it couldn't be our looks  
 **Msg** : quick, fake another orgasm, I don't even think they'd notice

Theon looked up at Robb and arched an eyebrow, smiling as Robb struggled not to laugh.  Theon's phone buzzed again.

 **Msg** : Thank god for cell phones, or this dinner would be unbearable  
 **Msg** : think Alys would notice if I started putting breadcrumbs in her  drink  
 **Msg** : Theon!  Don't do that!  
 **Msg** : just saying, I don't think she would notice.  And she's supposed to be on a date with you!  
 **Msg** : it's okay, really.  I don't mind talking to you instead.

Theon smiled

 **Msg** : I don't mind talking to you either.

\--

Alys grabbed Theon's arm as they left the restaurant, an infatuated smile perched on her lips.  "Theon you didn't like Jon, right?  You don't mind if I do?"

Theon sighed.  He didn't like Jon, no, and he'd had a fine time texting Robb throughout dinner, but he didn't exactly want Alys to run off on him, she was supposed to be his friend. 

"No," he said reluctantly, "he's not really my type.  You know me, I prefer redheads."

"Great." Alys grinned. "Hey Jon I'm catching a cab to South Kens if you need a ride," she called out, hailing a cab with an outstretched arm.

"Oh yeah I do! Bye!" He yelled back at Theon and Robb and without so much as a 'Nice to meet you!' They were gone.

"Well," Robb said with a smile, linking his arm loosely through Theon's, "at least somebody's finding love.  I guess we're the only ones destined to be alone."

"Yeah," Theon said, his arm tingling pleasantly where it met Robb's, "but it's not so bad, being alone with you."

-One Year Later-

"I still can't believe they're getting married," Robb said as they browsed the electronics store, "Married!  I didn't think Jon would ever get married!"

Theon shrugged, picking up an expensive camera before putting it back down with a thump.  "I didn't think Alys would either, but I guess when you find the right person...." He trailed off, glancing about the store.

"Hey, how about that?" Theon pointed at a karaoke video game, "here, come on let's try it out."

Flicking through the songs, he stopped suddenly with a grin and put it on; this was sure to make Robb laugh. "You made it through the wilderness, somehow you made it through, didn't know how lost I was until I found you," Theon sang in a high falsetto, "I was beat, incomplete, I'd been had, I was sad and blue!" Robb was grinning, so Theon continued with gusto, oblivious to everything but Robb's smile, "But you made me feeeeeel, yeah you maaaade me feeeeel, shiny and neeeeew!" Theon could live for days on the power of Robb's smile.  "Like a virgin, WHOO, touched for the very first ti-" he turned, and there she was.  Ros.  On the skinny, puny, wealthy arm of her new husband Petyr.

"Ros," he said, bringing his voice to its lowest register, but no matter how hard he tried he knew he couldn't erase the image of him singing that stupid fucking Madonna song like an _idiot_ out of hers and fucking Petyr's heads.  In fact, if it wasn't for the calming touch of Robb's hand at his elbow, Theon was quite sure he'd go mad.

"Theon," she said with a smug smile, "you remember Petyr of course."

Theon gave a terse nod.  "This is Robb."

"Right.  Well it was lovely running into you."

"Yeah."

\--

The walk from the electronics store to Alys and Jon's new place was tense and silent.  Robb tried to start the conversation again, but Theon ignored him, stewing in  his own humiliation and self loathing.

"Welcome welcome," Alys said with a warm smile, "I was just telling Jon that there's no way we're keeping this ugly iron coffee table."

"And I was just telling Alys that we're moving in together which means that we both get a say."

Alys clucked her tongue disapprovingly, "No no, darling, you only think you get a say.  My taste is far superior."

"What do you think, Robb?" Jon asked, but Robb only laughed.

"Oh no, I'm not getting involved in your pre-marital spats."

"Come come, Theon will tell you, Jon, I always get my way."

"What does it matter?" Theon bellowed, the barely concealed rage that was brimming under his skin bursting out in a flash, "in five years you'll have given the coffee table back, split with the rest of your assets, and you'll walk in on him singing Like a fucking Virgin in Maplin like a fucking idiot."  With a stomp, he rushed out of the room, slamming the door behind him as he fled down the stairs.

Theon's right fist nearly made contact with the concrete wall outside Jon and Alys's new flat when Robb grabbed it, his grip firm on Theon's wrist.  His other hand grasped Theon's left fist as he tried to connect it with Robb's nose.  "Let me fucking go!"

"Theon you're being incredibly rude," Robb said, meeting Theon's eyes without relaxing his grip.

"What's your fucking problem, Robb, are you made of ice?  Jeyne left you and you're fine, well that's fucking great for you, but I got my heart ripped out of my chest and I feel like shit and the bitch that did it is riding high on some skinny rich man's prick and I've got nothing to show for it not all of us are fucking perfect," Theon spit out, his face twisted and cruel.  

Robb dropped his hands and fixed him with a cold stare. "I just process things differently, that's all.  Jeyne and I wanted different things.  I feel things too, you know.  And I'm not your punching bag, Theon.  I don't even know how to believe you're heartbroken when you've stuck your dick in half of London.  You have sex like you’re looking for revenge, excuse me for wanting to actually make love!"

"You fucking arse," Theon swung his fist again, and let out a scream through gritted teeth when it made contact with hard concrete instead of Robb's nose.

"Fuck, Theon are you okay?"

"Yeah yeah," he winced, "fuck Robb I'm sorry I didn't mean all that."

"I'm sorry too," Robb wrapped his arms around Theon in a bear hug, "C'mon, lets get you some ice for that hand."

\--

The phone rang at midnight and Theon reached for it, knowing instinctively that it was Robb.  The only person who ever called this late was Robb.

"She's getting married!" The voice on the other end was slurring and weepy.  "She's marrying some guy from fucking France and they're gonna have kids and a future and all that shit she never wanted with me."

"Fuck, Robb, I'll be right over."

\--

Robb's face was a mess, his nose bright red and running, the apples of his cheeks shiny from tears and alcohol, and Theon wrapped him in a tight hug.

"I'm sorry, Robb, I know you wanted to marry her."

"She always told me she didn't want that.  I thought she meant with anyone.  Turns out she only meant me.  Maybe it's me, maybe I'm not the type of guy people marry."

Theon laughed and patted Robb on the back.  "You're crazy, mate. You're exactly the kind of guy people marry.  Hell, I'd marry you, we can catch a flight to Spain right now!"

Robb offered him a weak, sniffling chuckle in return.  "Thanks, I just, I don't know what it is with me.  I thought I was fine, I really did."

Theon caught Robb's chin lightly between his fingers.  He was no good at this sort of cheer up speech, but he had to try, for Robb's sake.  "Buck up, you're a handsome bloke, the girls and the gents go mad for you, they do.  You'll find someone, yeah?"

"Yeah.... Thanks Theon."  Robb leaned in, and the next thing Theon knew, his lips were on him, Robb's mouth parting, his tongue darting through, wet and wanting. Theon groaned under the weight of Robb as he pushed him against the bed.  Robb slid fingers beneath the waistband of his trousers, the deftness of Robb's hands as it unzipped him.

Theon rolled Robb over, pinning him to the sheets as he kissed the stubble along Robb's jaw.  His own hands made quick work of Robb's pajama bottoms as Robb lifted Theon's arms to tug off his shirt.

Chests bare against one another, they rolled atop the sheets; the only sounds were the wet smack of their lips and the shifting scrapes of linen and skin.

 _This is a bad idea_ , whispered the part of him that still had sense, but it was quickly quieted by the slip of Robb's hands into his boxers.  Theon gasped as Robb drew his cock out, and he was gone.  Gone as Robb kissed slowly, tantalizingly down his bare chest, his teeth scraping lightly against his nipples.  Gone gone gone as Robb parted his perfect lips around the head of Theon's cock, sucking lightly up the length of him.

Theon moaned as his cock brushed against the back of Robb's throat, and that moan deepened and grew as he felt Robb cup his arse lightly.  "Robb," he whispered through gritted teeth, _fuck_."

Robb lifted his head off Theon with a wolfish grin, and dug around in his bedside drawer before returning, triumphant, with lube and a condom.  Wicked was his smile as he wet his fingers with the lube, and lowered his mouth back to Theon's cock.

The groan that tore through Theon's lips was obscene as Robb thrust his fingers slowly into Theon's arse, his perfect mouth still bobbing on Theon's aching cock.  

"Fuck, Robb, I'm gonna-"

"Not yet," Robb said, his voice commanding as his slid off Theon's cock.  That wicked smile perched back on his lips, Robb ran them lightly over the head of Theon's cock, wetting them with his pre-cum before he met Theon's lips in a hungry kiss.

Robb had always been sort of prissy, proper, but for that one time at Nando's, that it almost made it better, how much delight he was taking in being dirty.  Roughly, Robb spread Theon's legs as they kissed, then slowly slid the condom on his own, untouched. rock hard cock.  Without warning, he broke their kiss and thrust slowly into Theon's ass.

There was no faking as Theon moaned Robb's name, nothing false as he whimpered beneath Robb.  Each glide of Robb's cock in his arse sent shudders through him until he was begging for release.

"Robb, please," he whined, "please, Robb."

Robb came first, filling Theon with his release, his final thrusts sending Theon over the edge, until he was panting and spent.

 _Wow_ , Theon thought as he stared at the ceiling, his brain still reeling from his post coital bliss, _holy shit_.

\--

He stayed till morning, of course he did, and Robb was bright and cheery as Theon could have guessed he'd be as the morning rays snuck through the Venetian blinds, bathing Robb's bedroom in bars of shadow and light.  As Robb got up to make coffee, Theon threw on his clothes as quickly as he could.

"Yeah uh, I've got to go home, get ready for work and shit," he said awkwardly, staring at his feet instead of meeting Robb's no doubt questioning eyes. "That was, um, fun."

Stiltedly, he gave Robb the one armed hug and fled out the door.

\--

Alys took three fucking rings to pick up.  "Jesus, Alys, I think I've made a huge mess of everything."

"Darling," she cooed on the other end of the line, "what did you do?"

"I went over to Robb's last night, Jeyne, his ex, she's getting married, and I was comforting him, and then one thing led to another..."

"You didn't!"

"I might have."

Theon could hear her sigh on the other end of the line.  "Well, how was he?"

"Really fucking good."

"And what are you going to do about all this?"

It was Theon's turn to sigh now.  "That's the thing, I don't know.  He's my best friend, I don't want to mess it up, even if the sex was great."

"Well then you have to tell him hold on-," Theon could hear chatter on the other end of the line as Alys said something whispered to Jon.

"Who's that?"

"Oh, nothing, Jon's just getting rid of a solicitor.  Anyway, you have to tell him.  For the sake of the friendship."

"Yeah you're right."

"I always am."

\--

Theon stared at his plate.  Meals had never been awkward with Robb before, he'd always had plenty to say.  Now, instead of his endless chatter, the only thing that filled the room was silence.

"Theon," Robb started, and Theon looked up with wide eyes.  "About the other night, it was fun but..."

"A mistake?" Theon filled in hopefully.

"Yeah mate," Robb sighed with what Theon could only assume was relief, "yeah.  We've got a good thing going, we don't need to mess it up with sex."

"Yeah yeah, definitely."  Theon smiled widely as he could.  "Definitely."

The clatter of cutlery and porcelain filled the silence that ensued and Theon felt his stomach flip, smile still bright on his face.  It was a mistake, they both knew it, and now things could go back to normal.

But if they were so normal, then why did everything feel so wrong?

-Three Weeks Later-

Anxiously, Theon straightened his bow tie in the mirror, then he strode out of the men's room with as much ease as he could, given that it was the first time he would be seeing Robb since that horribly awkward dinner a few weeks ago. Robb would be standing up at the altar with Jon, and Theon, as Alys's Man of Honor (having no close female friends she'd done what she always did and made up her own rules), would be walking down it.

It wasn't fair, how handsome Robb looked in his tux, not even a little bit.  The truth was, Theon had called Robb once or twice after that dinner but Robb had just let it go to voicemail.  After the third call with no response, Theon gave up.  He thought they could go back, but apparently that was his mistake.  Everything was ruined by the stupidly fantastic sex they had and how Theon fucking couldn't stop thinking about it.

He was thinking about it now as Robb smiled affectionately, as Alys and Jon exchanged vows, thinking about how magnificent Robb looked as he came, how Theon wanted to see that face again and again.

It was worse at the reception dinner.  They were seated beside each other at the table of honor, and every time Robb shifted his legs or said something, it was like someone stabbed a steak knife through Theon's heart and he didn't know why.

But it was no matter.  Robb wouldn’t even look at him, wouldn’t even meet his eyes.  The third time Robb left the table without saying anything to Theon, Theon followed him.

“Robb,” he said, grabbing Robb’s arm and pulling him towards the kitchen.

Once past the swinging doors, Robb wrenched his hand free.  “What?  What is it?”

“When are you going to get over this?”

“Get _over_ this?”  Robb’s mouth dropped and Theon’s stomach followed.  He knew it wasn’t the right thing to say, but he couldn’t stop himself.

“Yes!  We fucked!  It’s not that big of a deal!  Can’t we just go back to being friends?  Do you have to carry it around forever?”“Forever?  It’s been three weeks Theon, excuse me for needing some time.”

“Time?  Why do you need time?  Why does this have to mean everything to you?”

Robb’s face was getting red, his nose scrunching angrily.  “It doesn’t mean everything but it does mean something!  I’m not like you Theon, I can’t just cut and run.  Sex means something to me!  Especially- oh never mind.”

“Especially what?"

“Nothing.  Especially after you ran out of there like I had the plague."

Now it was Theon’s turn to have his jaw drop.  He hadn’t done that!  Had he done that?  “I didn’t run out!  I was trying to save us _both_ some awkwardness-”

“What, by refusing my invitation to breakfast?”

“I don’t even know why you’re dragging this up, I thought we both decided this was a mistake that we should move on from!”

Robb laughed cruelly.  “Yes.  The worst mistake of my life.”

Theon could feel a headache building behind his ears.  “What exactly do you want from me Robb?”

“Nothing.  I want nothing from you.”

“Fine, well then stop acting like I went over there to take advantage of you or something, I went over there because you were having a shitty night and then _you_ kissed _me_!  What was I supposed to do?  You’re fucking hot, you know that.  You got all weepy on me and you kissed me and my dick responded, what did you expect?”

The next thing Theon knew, Robb’s fist was connecting with his nose.  He could taste the familiar metallic tang of blood in the back of his mouth, and when he reached up to touch his nose, he could feel where it was starting to swell.

“Fuck you!” Robb was saying, and then the door was swinging shut behind him, and all Theon could do was bite his lip and staunch the blood flow.  

 _Fuck._ “FUCK!"

-One Month Later-

Theon flipped idly through the channels, one eye flicking to the clock.  11:23, only 47 minutes until he could go to bed. Every channel had some sappy love movie on, and even Netflix wasn't helpful, suggesting movies for couples who were spending the night in. Another year single, another year without anyone he wanted to kiss at midnight.

Only, it wasn't true, not really.  If Theon was being honest with himself, he'd know that there was someone he wanted to kiss at midnight.  A very specific person, actually.  And he knew exactly where that person was, at Alys and Jon's New Year's Eve party.  Theon had declined the invite specifically because he knew Robb would be there, but now Theon felt as if that might have been the dumbest mistake of his life.

Throwing on his jacket, Theon didn't care that all he was wearing was jeans and an Arsenal jersey.  He sprinted out of his flat and down the street.  It was too late to catch a cab, but if he ran, he could just make it.

The streets passed in a blur of drunken Londoners slurring, fighting, and kissing as he passed bar crawl after party after pub.

He reached Alys and Jon's as the countdown began at 20, he could hear them out the open window.  "Fuck!" He yelled at the empty sidewalk, he was going to be too late.

And then, as if conjured by a genie, like a mirage, like a blessing, out of the doors of Alys and Jon's building came Robb, his breath clouding, his nose bright from the cold.

"Theon? What are you _doing_ here?"

"You know exactly what I'm doing here, Robb, I’ve been doing a lot of thinking, and the thing is, I love you."

“What?”

“I love you!”

“You don’t love me, it’s just New Years Eve and you’re lonely.”

Theon grabbed Robb’s wrist, “No, I do, I love you!”

"What are you talking about?  You can't just do this, just show up here and say these things!  It doesn’t work this way?”

“Well how does it work then?”

“I don’t know, but not like this!”

"Well, how about this way. I love you Robb.  I love everything about you.  I love that the minute it gets cold, your nose gets just a little bit red.  I love that it takes you an hour and a half to order a sandwich. I love that you get a little crinkle above your nose when you think I’m going crazy. I love that after I spend all day with you, I can still smell your cologne on my clothes. And I love that you are the last person I want to talk to before I go to sleep at night, and the first person I want to talk to when I wake up in the morning. And it's not because I'm lonely, and it's not because it's New Year's Eve. I came here tonight because when you realize you want to spend the rest of your life with somebody, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible."

Robb stopped, his red nose even redder, and grabbed Theon’s cheeks between his cold hands, his lips meeting Theon’s with a crash.  Desperately, wantingly, lovingly Theon kissed him back, their cold noses bumping as around them, confetti fell like snow and the air filled with cheers.

“I love you, Theon,” Robb whispered as Theon came up for air.

“I love you, too.”


End file.
